I lost sight of Gloria

Classics, for me, are movies that were one of three things:

1 - A movie that I can curl up on the couch with and sort of ignore without feeling bad.
2 - Something I watched and loved as a kid
3 - Something that I've always watched with my Mom.

One of those movies is Top Hat which is a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movie and it is so fucking amazing and I love it.

Cheek To Cheek is possibly one of my favorite songs in the entire world and especially from that movie. The two of them are so fan-fucking-tastic and gorgeous and beautiful.

That's a classic to me. Another classic for us is usually the LOTR trilogy because all of us curl up and do other things while it's on.

I dunno, for a while...I haven't much felt like watching anything until recently. Not to mention, I've been all over the place fandom-wise. I don't know what I want to read or write about or if I even wanna read or write.

I'm playing a lot of games from BigFish which are great hidden object games.

I don't know. I'm at a loss. But I've got White Christmas on TV (Bing Crosby! Danny Kaye! ♥ ) and that's enough for right now.

I drank last night.

A lot.

Like, polished off a bottle of cake vodka (that had about 3 or 4 shots left) along with the rest of a bottle of pink lemonade vodka (again...which had about 3 or 4 shots left) along with some other things.

Iiiiii was drunk as fuck last night and ended up actually getting sick. Too much in too little time, mostly. I'm fine.

Very little headache, but otherwise, I am totally ravenous. Ahahaha!

I always associate today with my Dad dying, or at least finding out that he was dead. It's a weird thing to have that association. Especially when you've gotten past it and you can look back on it objectively and without a certain amount of guilt.

Twelve years to the day and I feel...well, a little sad that he's not here, but mostly, I have a headache and I'm hungry.

That's something, eh?

So I just now realized that I haven't updated you guys about my situation.

As it stands right now, I am, in fact, jobless. And this is really hard to deal with so close to Christmas, on top of being sick and such. But I'm going to get through it.

I was approved for unemployment and I didn't even have to have a hearing for it, so I'll be getting around $85 a week for around 24 weeks, which makes me stupidly grateful. I'm going to make it through this, it's just that sometimes it doesn't feel like that, you know?

I've started getting cards and those always brighten me up.

I'm selling some necklaces over on Tumblr, which you can look at here. The link'll take you to the post where I've linked both and everything. I'm selling them for 20 even right now but on Tuesday (maybe Wednesday) I'm gonna put them onto Etsy for 25.

So there is that.

IDK, I'm doing better than I thought I would. I think the stress made me sick as hell, which is no bueno. I miss the kids, but Chandler continues to be my favorite. I saw The Hobbit and fell head over heels in love with the dwarves even more. Thorin Oakenshield was always my favorite and OH GOD, RICHARD ARMITAGE. I have issues with Martin Freeman and his awful comment about Lucy Liu. But overall, I was spectacularly pleased with The Hobbit.

And now I just want all the fic about the original LOTR cast. DOM/BILLY WAS ALWAYS MY FAVORITE. Also, Viggo/Karl.

I'm okay though. Looking forward to Christmas as it creeps closer, surprisingly! Anyways, I think it's gonna be a NyQuil night, so I will talk to you guys later! ♥

I'd love to tell you about my first day back at work from my leave.

I'd love to.

Except that I didn't have a first fucking day back at work.

Yesterday, I had to go to a workshop with a coworker of mine and when we got back, I brought my paperwork to my boss saying that I was going to be able to come back on the 5th.

She said that she had to look at the schedule and everything and figure stuff out, which I didn't think was too unreasonable and such.

Okay, so she told me to call today, and I did.

AND THEN, she says, "Well, I don't think 2 weeks is enough. I was reading up on this and it says it can take up to 30 days. So why don't you take the rest of the week and I'll call you on Friday."

And I told her that my DOCTOR had cleared me and that I was fine. I could come back to work. But the long and short of it is that I'm STILL out of fucking work until Friday and yet I still have to go to a workshop tomorrow evening.

The only reason I'm not screaming at everything is that I've take my anxiety meds and I am super fucking mellow right now.

But I'm going to be job hunting. And, idk, peddling my wares and such. So if you want a piece of custom work, now's the time to ask, since I will have FUCK ALL to do. I'm just tired.

So apparently my boss called on Monday to "remind me" about a workshop I was signed up for on Tuesday morning.

Here's the thing: I was put onto a leave of absence and I wasn't told ANYTHING about the state of these workshops. Now my question is, how do I approach this with my boss?

In the scheme of things, she's out 7 bucks, which is, y'know, whatever, but she waited until THE 26TH the notify me that that was apparently still on?

IDK what to do, honestly.

So....advice would be appreciated.

So yesterday morning, I got a call from my boss. She told me that some complaints had been made by parents about how I had talked to some children.

She wanted me to stay home yesterday, so she could review tapes (which is standard procedure when complaints are made, no matter what) and such.

She also brought up an argument that had happened in front of another staff member between Christy and I. She cited that as not being professional, to which I told her that it was hard to know what was professional - given that certain members of the staff will lay down at nap-time with the kids and take a nap. And given that the staff - with the exception of myself and another coworker - all sit around on the cellphones, it was hard to know.

So she apparently took care of that (in a strongly worded staff-meeting, I'm told) and then I had to wait around all day yesterday until the evening for her to call me back.

The thing is...I've been having some issues with my depression. Many of you know that I've been unable to get my medication and my Mom finally got some that I can use until my Doctor's appointment.

And I've had to disclose that information (that I suffer from depression/anxiety and take medication) to my boss. And that's fine. I genuinely don't have an issue with that.

So in talking to my boss last night, she wants me to take a temporary leave for "as long as you see fit" as she said. She feels like the stress of everything has gotten to be too much and it's bleeding into my work.

I'd like to say she's wrong, but I can't. I honestly can't say that a break isn't exactly what I needed. So yeah.

The only thing is that I have to have a doctor's note stating that I am on a regular course of medication and am stable enough to work around and with children. Which is to be expected, given that at any time downstairs, we have 22 children between Christy and I. Which is insane and terrifying at times.

My plan is to take around two weeks. I'm gonna take these two weeks to get some things in order, to find my room amid the mess, to give me time to study for exams and get them out of the way, and to spend time with my Jamie who comes into town on Wednesday.

With clarity and distance, I'm starting to see this as a good thing, which is what my boss wanted, I think.

So there's that.

Cross your fingers, send a prayer up, send me good vibes and thoughts - whatever it is you do, that I do not lose my job.

There were some complaints made about me this week that my director is reviewing and I will know something either later today or tomorrow.

Please don’t let me lose my job.

I don’t know what the hell I’d do, oh god.

I've been crying off and on since she called and told me to stay out today and I'm fucking terrified.

Like. I seriously am terrified of this.

Hey guys! So, I'm getting down to the wire about cards (I wanna have them all filled out and ready to go, but for stamping, by the 16th ('cause I get paid then and such!)) so I'm gonna link you to my last post regarding them:

CLICKY!!

I just burst out into delighted tears and am now shrieking over Facebook video chat with my Jamie.

FUCK YES.

So, Halloween is over and that makes me sad. I fucking love Halloween. I didn't get to celebrate it like I have the last few years (going to one of my Jamie's parties and such), but I had a fan-fucking-tastic time at xandri's place last night!

In costume news, I was this:

( !! )

What did you guys do on Halloween?