jesus christ

I'm getting really tired of getting shat on.

I feel like for every step forward I take, I get shoved back five. I can't fucking win for losing. I'm tired of it.

Fingers fucking crossed that my former boss contesting my benefits doesn't mean I won't get this week's benefits 'cause I need gas and I have to get to school tomorrow and Thursday. My grandmother thinks she's a fucking gift for advice after telling me "don't let it worry you" about my upcoming hearing with the unemployment people on the 18th.

I got to spend time with Jamie and Jeff today, which was lovely and I miss them like a hole cut out of my side. I get to see fictionalfaerie sometime on Wednesday and that's fabulous. But I have this fucking rain cloud just hanging over my head from waiting for this fucking unemployment hearing.

I can barely keep food down and any food I keep down, ends up making my stomach just ache because of the stress. I'm just so tired...tired of crying, tired of being stressed. I wanna sleep for three days and not worry about anything but myself. I want my stomach to stop hurting and I think I really just want my mother and grandmother telling me that there's no sense in worrying because the worst that can happen is they rescind my benefits.

Yeah, that is the worst. But that's not taking into account the consequences of my benefits being rescinded. I just.

Mentally exhausted all over again.