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mayqueen517Title: Keep Your Head Above
Pairing: Tom Conrad, Spencer Smith GEN
Rating: PG for language
Warnings: None
Word Count: 493
Summary: He meets Spencer's eyes and there's something calming in them as Spencer smiles. Tom returns it, crooked and not quite so easily, but they walk back to Panic's dressing room together, with something like peace spreading through Tom's chest.
Author's Notes: Back in June, I asked for prompts and numbers and such here and I finally got around to working on one of them tonight!![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seratonation prompted me with the letter 'S', and the one song that I kept coming back to was "Swim" by Jack's Mannequin.
This takes place on the Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour, directly after Tom had been kicked out of TAI. There was a period of a little while wherein Jack's Mannequin opened up for Panic at this point, which is when this is taking place. (Which, okay, some fudging of the time-lines, but I think it's fine.)
::DISCLAIMER:: I OWN NOTHING. THE PREMISE IS MINE. THE TITLE COMES FROM THE JACK'S MANNEQUIN SONG, 'SWIM'.
"How are you doing?"
"Fucking awful," Tom says frankly, looking up at Spencer. Spencer Smith of the wry smiles, sharp wit, and old eyes. It's unsettling, Tom thinks, watching his lips quirk into a quick, short smile as he hands a bottle of water to Tom.
"So long as you aren't lying to yourself," he says. There's something in Spencer's voice, in the way he says it, like he knows what Tom's going through. That's bullshit, because Tom isn't watching Spencer go through losing his band and he isn't watching Spencer spiral down through getting by without a band.
"Wish I could," Tom says distractedly, cracking open the water, taking a quick swallow as he watches Jon and Brendon laughing together. Nearby, Ryan's watching them with a secretive smile on his face and when Tom looks to Spencer, Spencer's got the same smile on his face, watching Ryan.
"Lying to yourself is the worst thing you can do, I think," Spencer says finally, meeting Tom's eyes and for a moment, Tom is overcome with the awful feeling of wanting to punch this kid who acts like he knows everything. It passes quickly though, leaving Tom even more drained than before, like the bags under his eyes are weighing him down. Instead of anything, he nods, not replying as Spencer gives him a bolstering smile, standing and jogging over to fling himself into Jon's back.
Jon's laughing hard, eyes crinkled and he's clinging to Spencer, taking them both down. It makes acid rise in the back of Tom's throat, sharp and bitter, leaving a metallic tang in his mouth that he tries to wash away with the water. It's cold and just as sharp, but it doesn't help the taste.
Tom watches Jack's Mannequin that night; watches them with jealous, but proud eyes. Happiness rings somewhere vaguely, like a memory that he has to work to remember. His fingers itch for a moment, for just one tiny moment of wanting to capture lights and heat and energy, the moment when Andrew launches himself off of the piano, grinning wildly.
He watches them again the next night with his camera in hand and Spencer standing with him. They don't talk, but Tom can feel Spencer tapping on the cases next to both of them. Tom can see Spencer mouthing the words absently and something in it makes Tom smile to himself as he raises the camera, taking a picture of the moment when Andrew tosses back a shot.
Tom takes his time lining up shots; painstakingly choosing which flash of stage lights he wants, which moment of a song that resonates. He feels Spencer touch his arm lightly, just once, as Andrew and the band say goodnight.
He meets Spencer's eyes and there's something calming in them as Spencer smiles. Tom returns it, crooked and not quite so easily, but they walk back to Panic's dressing room together, with something like peace spreading through Tom's chest.
Pairing: Tom Conrad, Spencer Smith GEN
Rating: PG for language
Warnings: None
Word Count: 493
Summary: He meets Spencer's eyes and there's something calming in them as Spencer smiles. Tom returns it, crooked and not quite so easily, but they walk back to Panic's dressing room together, with something like peace spreading through Tom's chest.
Author's Notes: Back in June, I asked for prompts and numbers and such here and I finally got around to working on one of them tonight!
seratonation prompted me with the letter 'S', and the one song that I kept coming back to was "Swim" by Jack's Mannequin.This takes place on the Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour, directly after Tom had been kicked out of TAI. There was a period of a little while wherein Jack's Mannequin opened up for Panic at this point, which is when this is taking place. (Which, okay, some fudging of the time-lines, but I think it's fine.)
::DISCLAIMER:: I OWN NOTHING. THE PREMISE IS MINE. THE TITLE COMES FROM THE JACK'S MANNEQUIN SONG, 'SWIM'.
"How are you doing?"
"Fucking awful," Tom says frankly, looking up at Spencer. Spencer Smith of the wry smiles, sharp wit, and old eyes. It's unsettling, Tom thinks, watching his lips quirk into a quick, short smile as he hands a bottle of water to Tom.
"So long as you aren't lying to yourself," he says. There's something in Spencer's voice, in the way he says it, like he knows what Tom's going through. That's bullshit, because Tom isn't watching Spencer go through losing his band and he isn't watching Spencer spiral down through getting by without a band.
"Wish I could," Tom says distractedly, cracking open the water, taking a quick swallow as he watches Jon and Brendon laughing together. Nearby, Ryan's watching them with a secretive smile on his face and when Tom looks to Spencer, Spencer's got the same smile on his face, watching Ryan.
"Lying to yourself is the worst thing you can do, I think," Spencer says finally, meeting Tom's eyes and for a moment, Tom is overcome with the awful feeling of wanting to punch this kid who acts like he knows everything. It passes quickly though, leaving Tom even more drained than before, like the bags under his eyes are weighing him down. Instead of anything, he nods, not replying as Spencer gives him a bolstering smile, standing and jogging over to fling himself into Jon's back.
Jon's laughing hard, eyes crinkled and he's clinging to Spencer, taking them both down. It makes acid rise in the back of Tom's throat, sharp and bitter, leaving a metallic tang in his mouth that he tries to wash away with the water. It's cold and just as sharp, but it doesn't help the taste.
Tom watches Jack's Mannequin that night; watches them with jealous, but proud eyes. Happiness rings somewhere vaguely, like a memory that he has to work to remember. His fingers itch for a moment, for just one tiny moment of wanting to capture lights and heat and energy, the moment when Andrew launches himself off of the piano, grinning wildly.
He watches them again the next night with his camera in hand and Spencer standing with him. They don't talk, but Tom can feel Spencer tapping on the cases next to both of them. Tom can see Spencer mouthing the words absently and something in it makes Tom smile to himself as he raises the camera, taking a picture of the moment when Andrew tosses back a shot.
Tom takes his time lining up shots; painstakingly choosing which flash of stage lights he wants, which moment of a song that resonates. He feels Spencer touch his arm lightly, just once, as Andrew and the band say goodnight.
He meets Spencer's eyes and there's something calming in them as Spencer smiles. Tom returns it, crooked and not quite so easily, but they walk back to Panic's dressing room together, with something like peace spreading through Tom's chest.
