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hector_rashbaum YOU OWE ME NOW. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
This is superbly self-indulgent crack, like you have no idea, guys. Hector and I were talking, and this kind of came out from it. So yeah.
Has no title, totally self-indulgent, but basically, it's the JoBros at preschool with Bandom. Featuring appearances by Gerard Way (MISTER GEE, YOU GUYS, I COULDN'T RESIST), Mike Carden, Bill Beckett, Greta Salpeter, and Pete Wentz.
Also. Paste-eating.
Kevin Jonas is the new kid in class. Actually, him and his brothers are the new kids, and that's kind of cool, because he's not the only new kid. There's a bunch of new faces and when Kevin looks up at Mister Gee, the teacher's smiling and encouraging him to go find a station.
"Ima gonna go paint," he says tentatively as Mister Gee brightly grins and leads him over to the station where there's three other boys playing. One of them, with bright red hair studies him for a moment and Kevin wants to just go back home.
"You can share the blue if you're careful with it. I don't like when it gets mixed up,"
"The green is mine," says another boy, holding onto the green tightly before Mister Gee leans over and puts it back into the center of the table.
"Patrick, good job on sharing. Bill, why don't you see if someone else needs to use the green?"
"Because the green is mine,"
"The green is everybody's, Bill,"
"Yeah, but it's mine because I'm painting aliens and grass and I need it,"
Kevin watches for a long moment as Mister Gee gently takes Bill over to the timeout chair and it's kind of crazy, but Kevin might jump a little when some other kid starts talking really loudly. He's standing on top of a table and pointing at Joe. Joe, who's got paste smeared around his mouth and looking proud, if a little sick.
"MISTER GEE, THE NEW KID BEAT BDEN'S ALL TIME PASTE-EATING RECORD. MISTER GEE, DIDJA HEAR ME?"
"Paste isn't for eating!" and Kevin knows that voice, because that's his little brother. Nick looks ready to kick and Kevin's a good big brother, because he's already preparing to go over and drag his little brother away.
"I. Oh, for heaven's sake. Pete, get off of the table and-"
"Mister Gee, tell them paste isn't for eating," insists Nick and that's when the red haired kid (Mr. Gee called him Patrick) goes over and starts chiming in.
Kevin doesn't know why they look at each other with grins, but he figures that it just means there's more paint for him. He goes to grab the black and looks over at the other boy at the table before shyly offering a paintbrush.
"We can share the black,"
"'Kay,"
"I'm Kevin,"
"'m Mike and I like painting space,"
"Do you paint stars?"
"No,"
Kevin thinks about it for a long time before Mike sighs and picks up some white, offering it out to him.
"If you wanna paint some stars onto it, you can,"
He thinks about it for about two seconds before he's painting stars onto Mike's paper, standing beside of him, and yeah. Okay, maybe preschool's not so bad.
"And then Joe ate paste. Mommy, tell Joe that he can't eat paste,"
"But Mommmmyyy, I beat a RECORD,"
"Paste isn't for eating, you stupid-head!"
"MOM, NICK CALLED ME A STUPID-HEAD,"
Joe and Nick are bickering, and Kevin wonders why he's not chiming in. But really, all he did was share a paintbrush with Mike and meet a girl named Greta. He likes Greta, she's cool, because she likes his hair.
Kevin likes Greta for that. He also kind of likes Mister Gee, who doesn't care what they really do, not like at the last preschool. He fidgets with his shirt before he starts helping his Mom who is lecturing both Nick and Joe, and he can't help but think that he really likes preschool.
Even if some of the kids are weird.
"Mike and Kevin, sitting in a tre-"
"Shut up, Bill,"
"I'm gonna telllll,"
"Will not,"
"You like Kevin,"
"Yeah. So?"
Mike is totally hardcore. He will punch Bill in the arm if he has to. Mike knows how it works, he's got brothers too, and Bill's just as nice. If weird.
"You should pull his hair. THAT'S how you tell someone you like 'em," he says, nodding solemnly as Mike eyes him.
Bill is kind of weird, but sometimes he actually knows what he's talking about. So that's why Bill drags Mike into the play area where Kevin's playing with Greta. He's cleaning up the kitchen and Mike wants to laugh, but his Mom's always telling him that boys can clean up the kitchen too, so whatever.
"Hi, Kevin!" says Bill, giving Kevin a split second before he reaches out and yanks a handful of Kevin's curls.
After that, it kind of becomes a little crazy. But Mike maybe stays close to the play area, drawing on pieces of paper as Greta giggles and Mike thinks that Greta's pretty cool for a girl. Kevin has a weird laugh too, Mike decides as they line up for outside time.
"KEVIN. I ATE A CRAYON,"
"JOE, you're not supposed to eat CRAYONS," and that's the other new kid, the really weird one who doesn't laugh ever. He's got Patrick trailing along behind him, and Pete's glaring like they took his last Transformer toy.
"Your friend is weird," Kevin says, even though they're supposed to be quiet when they walk outside. Mike blinks and keeps his finger on his lips, like maybe Kevin'll get it as the kids scatter outside. Besides, his brother eats stuff, who's he to talk about weird?
"Bill. He keeps pulling my hair," Kevin says, like Mike's gonna be able to do anything about it. Bill is Bill.
"Okay. Sorry?"
"Make him stop,"
"Kevin, that means Bill LIKES YOU," announces the other guy, Kevin's brother, the one who eats things. Joe. Kevin's face turns bright red and Mike suddenly gets it. You're supposed to pull people's hair if you like them.
But that's stupid, so Mike rolls his eyes and runs out to the swings. If you like someone, you're supposed to help them out, so when Kevin wants to swing and all the swings are full, he shoves a kid called The Butcher off the swings and holds him down.
If Kevin wants to swing, Kevin's gonna swing.
"Thank you," Kevin says shyly, smiling at him as he starts swinging. Mike presses his foot down a little more firmly when The Butcher squirms and starts fussing.
"No problem,"
"MIKE. LEMME UP,"
"Shut up, ANDY,"
"THAT'S KING BUTCHER TO YOU. And I wanna SWING. I was almost over the top and you ruined it!"
Mike decides that not moving is the best thing, because when another kid gets off the swings, that means he can swing next to Kevin.
It's kind of stupid, but Mike really sort of likes Kevin.
"I like your shirt," Kevin says shyly, voice quiet as they swing together. Mike grins and looks down at his dirty and ragged shirt. It's got the Ninja Turtles on it, which automatically makes it cool, okay?
"Thanks. I like your. Um. Glasses,"
"Thanks! My brother, Joe, was gonna get 'em, but I told 'em they made him look really smart so he didn't want them and then I got 'em,"
They swing together, trying to go higher, laughing when Greta stomps over and crosses her arms. She's got long hair that's blowing around and Mike kind of thinks she looks like a lion.
"YOU'RE A MEANIE, MIKE CARDEN. You're stealing my HUSBAND,"
"What?"
"MY HUSBAND. Kevin is my husband, fair and square, I found him first, he's MINE. You're a HOME-WRECKER,"
"I didn't do anything to your stupid house, Greta!"
They keep arguing and that's probably why Mike doesn't notice Kevin slipping off the swings before he speaks. Greta's getting shrill and Mike's just confused. What's a house got to do with Kevin?
"Guys, guys! We can share like Mister Gee told us to!"
And that's. Well. That's kind of the smartest thing ever, Mike thinks as they all go over to the sandbox, holding hands.
"MOMMY. I learned how to share today. Sharing is so awesome,"
"That's nice, sweetie,"
"MOMMY, KEVIN'S WEIRD. HE'S MARRIED GRETA AND THEY'RE SHARING MIKE AND THAT'S WRONG,"
"Nick, inside voice,"
Kevin thinks that maybe their Mom's stopped listening, but with the way that Nick keeps shouting, it's probably a good thing.
Especially when after dinner, he gets a hug from his Mom with a gentle reminder that maybe he should be careful about his sharing, but she's proud of him.
Kevin's got the best Mom ever.
ATTENTION: I'm crazy and crazy in love with this. If there's another bandom boy or girl you wanna know about, ASK ME AND I WILL TELL YOU LIKE CRAZY, OKAY? (Seriously, there's a lot of stuff I left out and I didn't want to, ASK AWAY)
hector_rashbaum YOU OWE ME NOW. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.This is superbly self-indulgent crack, like you have no idea, guys. Hector and I were talking, and this kind of came out from it. So yeah.
Has no title, totally self-indulgent, but basically, it's the JoBros at preschool with Bandom. Featuring appearances by Gerard Way (MISTER GEE, YOU GUYS, I COULDN'T RESIST), Mike Carden, Bill Beckett, Greta Salpeter, and Pete Wentz.
Also. Paste-eating.
Kevin Jonas is the new kid in class. Actually, him and his brothers are the new kids, and that's kind of cool, because he's not the only new kid. There's a bunch of new faces and when Kevin looks up at Mister Gee, the teacher's smiling and encouraging him to go find a station.
"Ima gonna go paint," he says tentatively as Mister Gee brightly grins and leads him over to the station where there's three other boys playing. One of them, with bright red hair studies him for a moment and Kevin wants to just go back home.
"You can share the blue if you're careful with it. I don't like when it gets mixed up,"
"The green is mine," says another boy, holding onto the green tightly before Mister Gee leans over and puts it back into the center of the table.
"Patrick, good job on sharing. Bill, why don't you see if someone else needs to use the green?"
"Because the green is mine,"
"The green is everybody's, Bill,"
"Yeah, but it's mine because I'm painting aliens and grass and I need it,"
Kevin watches for a long moment as Mister Gee gently takes Bill over to the timeout chair and it's kind of crazy, but Kevin might jump a little when some other kid starts talking really loudly. He's standing on top of a table and pointing at Joe. Joe, who's got paste smeared around his mouth and looking proud, if a little sick.
"MISTER GEE, THE NEW KID BEAT BDEN'S ALL TIME PASTE-EATING RECORD. MISTER GEE, DIDJA HEAR ME?"
"Paste isn't for eating!" and Kevin knows that voice, because that's his little brother. Nick looks ready to kick and Kevin's a good big brother, because he's already preparing to go over and drag his little brother away.
"I. Oh, for heaven's sake. Pete, get off of the table and-"
"Mister Gee, tell them paste isn't for eating," insists Nick and that's when the red haired kid (Mr. Gee called him Patrick) goes over and starts chiming in.
Kevin doesn't know why they look at each other with grins, but he figures that it just means there's more paint for him. He goes to grab the black and looks over at the other boy at the table before shyly offering a paintbrush.
"We can share the black,"
"'Kay,"
"I'm Kevin,"
"'m Mike and I like painting space,"
"Do you paint stars?"
"No,"
Kevin thinks about it for a long time before Mike sighs and picks up some white, offering it out to him.
"If you wanna paint some stars onto it, you can,"
He thinks about it for about two seconds before he's painting stars onto Mike's paper, standing beside of him, and yeah. Okay, maybe preschool's not so bad.
"And then Joe ate paste. Mommy, tell Joe that he can't eat paste,"
"But Mommmmyyy, I beat a RECORD,"
"Paste isn't for eating, you stupid-head!"
"MOM, NICK CALLED ME A STUPID-HEAD,"
Joe and Nick are bickering, and Kevin wonders why he's not chiming in. But really, all he did was share a paintbrush with Mike and meet a girl named Greta. He likes Greta, she's cool, because she likes his hair.
Kevin likes Greta for that. He also kind of likes Mister Gee, who doesn't care what they really do, not like at the last preschool. He fidgets with his shirt before he starts helping his Mom who is lecturing both Nick and Joe, and he can't help but think that he really likes preschool.
Even if some of the kids are weird.
"Mike and Kevin, sitting in a tre-"
"Shut up, Bill,"
"I'm gonna telllll,"
"Will not,"
"You like Kevin,"
"Yeah. So?"
Mike is totally hardcore. He will punch Bill in the arm if he has to. Mike knows how it works, he's got brothers too, and Bill's just as nice. If weird.
"You should pull his hair. THAT'S how you tell someone you like 'em," he says, nodding solemnly as Mike eyes him.
Bill is kind of weird, but sometimes he actually knows what he's talking about. So that's why Bill drags Mike into the play area where Kevin's playing with Greta. He's cleaning up the kitchen and Mike wants to laugh, but his Mom's always telling him that boys can clean up the kitchen too, so whatever.
"Hi, Kevin!" says Bill, giving Kevin a split second before he reaches out and yanks a handful of Kevin's curls.
After that, it kind of becomes a little crazy. But Mike maybe stays close to the play area, drawing on pieces of paper as Greta giggles and Mike thinks that Greta's pretty cool for a girl. Kevin has a weird laugh too, Mike decides as they line up for outside time.
"KEVIN. I ATE A CRAYON,"
"JOE, you're not supposed to eat CRAYONS," and that's the other new kid, the really weird one who doesn't laugh ever. He's got Patrick trailing along behind him, and Pete's glaring like they took his last Transformer toy.
"Your friend is weird," Kevin says, even though they're supposed to be quiet when they walk outside. Mike blinks and keeps his finger on his lips, like maybe Kevin'll get it as the kids scatter outside. Besides, his brother eats stuff, who's he to talk about weird?
"Bill. He keeps pulling my hair," Kevin says, like Mike's gonna be able to do anything about it. Bill is Bill.
"Okay. Sorry?"
"Make him stop,"
"Kevin, that means Bill LIKES YOU," announces the other guy, Kevin's brother, the one who eats things. Joe. Kevin's face turns bright red and Mike suddenly gets it. You're supposed to pull people's hair if you like them.
But that's stupid, so Mike rolls his eyes and runs out to the swings. If you like someone, you're supposed to help them out, so when Kevin wants to swing and all the swings are full, he shoves a kid called The Butcher off the swings and holds him down.
If Kevin wants to swing, Kevin's gonna swing.
"Thank you," Kevin says shyly, smiling at him as he starts swinging. Mike presses his foot down a little more firmly when The Butcher squirms and starts fussing.
"No problem,"
"MIKE. LEMME UP,"
"Shut up, ANDY,"
"THAT'S KING BUTCHER TO YOU. And I wanna SWING. I was almost over the top and you ruined it!"
Mike decides that not moving is the best thing, because when another kid gets off the swings, that means he can swing next to Kevin.
It's kind of stupid, but Mike really sort of likes Kevin.
"I like your shirt," Kevin says shyly, voice quiet as they swing together. Mike grins and looks down at his dirty and ragged shirt. It's got the Ninja Turtles on it, which automatically makes it cool, okay?
"Thanks. I like your. Um. Glasses,"
"Thanks! My brother, Joe, was gonna get 'em, but I told 'em they made him look really smart so he didn't want them and then I got 'em,"
They swing together, trying to go higher, laughing when Greta stomps over and crosses her arms. She's got long hair that's blowing around and Mike kind of thinks she looks like a lion.
"YOU'RE A MEANIE, MIKE CARDEN. You're stealing my HUSBAND,"
"What?"
"MY HUSBAND. Kevin is my husband, fair and square, I found him first, he's MINE. You're a HOME-WRECKER,"
"I didn't do anything to your stupid house, Greta!"
They keep arguing and that's probably why Mike doesn't notice Kevin slipping off the swings before he speaks. Greta's getting shrill and Mike's just confused. What's a house got to do with Kevin?
"Guys, guys! We can share like Mister Gee told us to!"
And that's. Well. That's kind of the smartest thing ever, Mike thinks as they all go over to the sandbox, holding hands.
"MOMMY. I learned how to share today. Sharing is so awesome,"
"That's nice, sweetie,"
"MOMMY, KEVIN'S WEIRD. HE'S MARRIED GRETA AND THEY'RE SHARING MIKE AND THAT'S WRONG,"
"Nick, inside voice,"
Kevin thinks that maybe their Mom's stopped listening, but with the way that Nick keeps shouting, it's probably a good thing.
Especially when after dinner, he gets a hug from his Mom with a gentle reminder that maybe he should be careful about his sharing, but she's proud of him.
Kevin's got the best Mom ever.
ATTENTION: I'm crazy and crazy in love with this. If there's another bandom boy or girl you wanna know about, ASK ME AND I WILL TELL YOU LIKE CRAZY, OKAY? (Seriously, there's a lot of stuff I left out and I didn't want to, ASK AWAY)
